But, yeah, drama. Tonight I got a call from someone I didn't think I'd ever hear from again. After Rob and I broke up I had a rebound with this guy, Josh (not the Josh that I was seeing before Clint, a different one). It was a very bad idea, and he was just using me for sex, so I walked away from it bitter. I was very stupid about the whole thing, because I knew from the beginning that he was going away to college and it was only a fling. Yet for some stupid reason I went for it. I guess because I was completely lonely and it was nice to be noticed, even if for the wrong reasons. The situation became even more complicated, because I found out that he was seeing Sara during the time he and I were having a thing. The most upsetting part was that I learned this from him, not Sara. She was keeping it from me, which was hurtful. But she rationalized that she didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt me, especially since she found out what was truly going on between us. She originally thought I just had a crush on him. Or so she says. I was upset with her for a short while, but then projected all the anger onto him.

So, Josh calls tonight because he's back in town for the holiday, as is our friend Ed. They're having a party tonight, and wanted to invite me. So I told Josh I would run it by Clint and possibly come. The only reason I would want to is to see my buddy Ed. But when I called Ed, he said he wouldn't be back in town till midnight. I really do not want to go to the party unless he's there. And I really think it will be weird and uncomfortable having Josh and Clint meet each other. Plus, I know Josh was calling Sara after he called me, and I'm afraid she may have ripped him a new one. So it's just a bad situation all the way around.

Bah.

before - after