Yesterday, after I wrote in my diary, I talked to Clint online for quite a while. He's still trying to make sure we're friends. Oh, sigh. I honestly don't want to completely lose him, but friendship right now seems awfully hard. It's too fresh.

I got massively depressed, and curled up in my bed to take a nap. A few hours into my nap Nicolai called me to see if I wanted to go to goth club. I told him yes, I thought it would be a good idea. And it really was. I wore the dress I bought for Christmas, did my makeup and hair, and went out looking like a million bucks.

Before going to the club, Nic and I went out for Chinese. I finally got the big bowl of Won Ton Soup I've been craving. During the meal, I made a comment that I need a nice, handsome, Australian man to make me happy. Nicolai found this very amusing.

The night at the club was awesome. Good industrial music (for the most part), the people were more fun than ever, I got to pose for numerous pictures, and I even got massages from both Gary and Ryan (two of the regulars). One time from both at the same time (Gary was massaging my back and neck, Ryan my hands). I was very happy, until I got home to my cold empty bed. I clutched onto the big leopard Clint gave me for most of the night.

Today my grandparent's and I went to Olive Garden for their 58th anniversay. Nicolai works there, so he called at noon to let us know he was saving a booth. We got there, and the food was wonderful. We had a very friendly waitress, and Nicolai visited often. At one point, he came up to me and said, "Hey, Tiff, I have a suprise for you... I'll give you a hint, he's from Australia." Sure enough, he brought back this very handsome Australian waiter. I felt so embarassed. We talked shortly, he wished my grandparents a happy anniversary, and then went back to work.

When Nicolai came back to the table, I asked him if the poor man was confused as to why he had to come talk to us. Nicolai told me, "Oh, no, I told him you have a thing for Australians, and that he should meet you." Wow. I felt like crawling under a rock and hiding for the rest of the meal.

I just called Ed and he says everyone is gathering at his place to play cards. Kaydie has offered to come pick me up. So it looks like I might be heading out there. Which is a good thing. It will get my mind off my troubles. I've been fighting the urge to call Clint and talk to him all day.

I miss him already.

before - after