When we walked into the funeral home there were tons of people mingling around who I have never seen before in my life, but I knew were probably related to me somehow. We overheard a man introduce himself to another guest as Vito's grandson, Terry's son. Clint told me I should introduce myself to him and tell him who I was. I couldn't. I told Clint we should just find a seat in the back. As we walked to go find a spot, a nicely dressed man approached us. This was the conversation that followed:

Man: (To Clint) I'm sorry, my memory is fading...
Clint: Oh, I'm just a guest.
Man: (To Me) And you?
Me: Um, well... I'm family.
Man: Oh? On who's side?
Me: Vito's... I'm his granddaughter.
(Awkward pause)
Man: Who's daughter?
(More pausing)
Me: Uh... Tony's...
(Yet another awkward pause)
Man: I'm Tony.
(The mother of all awkward pauses)

Yeah. That's right. The first person I spoke to was my FATHER. It was the strangest thing in the world, I don't know if it's possible for me to put it into words. After staring at each other for a moment like deer stuck in a huge semi's headlights, Tony welcomed me. He hugged me and told me he was sorry he hadn't contacted me to let me know about my grandfather's death and the funeral, that he didn't know how to. He thanked me for coming and told me I was more than welcome to go to the military service afterwards. I told him I would.

Clint and I found a seat and sat down close to the back. It was a nice service, it's good to see that my grandfather was so loved by not only family, but friends as well. I cried. Partly because of his death, but mostly because I feel like shit that I didn't know him during life.

After the service, the same grandson I saw as we entered into the building tapped me on the shoulder. He handed me a business card and said, "Tiffany, I'm your cousin. Here's my number, I'd love to hear from you and get to know you. Thank you so much for coming. You're very beautiful." I went back out into the main hallway, and my father came up to me to ask again if I was going to the military service. Clint and I said we definitely would. I saw that a line was forming around my grandmother, so I went to join it in order to say hello to her and tell her I was sorry for her loss. When she saw me she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and told me she was glad I came, and that she wouldn't have even recognized me. I told her my mother sends her love and best wishes, and she told me that she would have been welcome to come.

After seeing my grandmother again, I decided to go outside to have a cigarette and call my mother. While I was doing that, Clint met up with my father and got the stickers needed to put on his car for the funeral procession. We waited around for a while, and then headed off with everyone else to the cemetery. It was quite a drive, but the cemetery was in a beautiful area. The service itself was very sad and hard to watch. There was a bagpipe player, the 21 gun salute, formal folding of the flag, the whole deal. Two family friends played Taps with a sax and trumpet while the casket was being lowered into the ground. It was very movielike.

Afterward, my father came up to Clint and I again and invited us to dinner with the family at a Chinese restaurant. We told him we would be there. We were some of the first people to leave, and met up with the rest at the restaurant. Inside people were approaching me telling me they hadn't seen me since I was an infant, and that they were so glad I could come out. One woman even asked how my mother was doing, and wanted to know if she was still managing restaurants. They were all very nice people.

My father got there a little later than everyone else. He came up to where Clint and I were sitting and asked who was sitting in the chair across from us. Two chairs were empty, so he tipped them towards the table and told us to keep the spots while he got his food from the buffet. When he came back, we talked for a long time. We discussed what has been going on in our lives these past 19 years. He told me stories about his days doing stunt work and living in Roswell, New Mexico. He even chatted with Clint about martial arts and jokingly asked him if people come up to him on the street and scream at him (because he resembles Matt Lillard, get it?). When Clint and I were ready to leave my father and I exchanged numbers. I mentioned to Clint that I wanted to smoke before we left, and my father said he would join us.

Outside we talked quite a bit more. Mostly about spirituality. My father's family is very religious, but he is not. He doesn't believe in one set religion, but he does believe in spirituality as a whole. He's very similar to my mother as far as that goes (which is actually funny, because my mom made it clear not to mention to his family that she does tarot and astrology and other things along those lines). Tony's sister, Terry, came up to say hello to me. She said she has pictures of me as a baby and that my face still looks the same. Her husband also came over with his camera and took some pictures. We all exchanged e-mail addresses so he can send them to me. My father also said he wanted to scan some photographs and send those to me as well.

When Clint and I were about to leave my father gave me a hug. He pulled me close and kissed me on my cheek. He told me I had beautiful eyes, and then joked that they were "shit brown," like his. As we were walking away Clint told Tony that it was very nice meeting him. He replied that he agreed, and that he would see us again soon.

So, yeah. That was the day. It was nice. Scary, awkward, and sad at times, but nice.

before - after